You know it’s hard out here for a West Point girlfriend…

After a long and winding google search that stemmed from this story about swim tests at colleges (which I myself had to endure and did not pass until my senior year, having attended one of the schools that still requires it for graduation), I wound up on this page: USMA Girlfriends. According to the website, it “was formed in order to provide girlfriends of West Point cadets with a place to come and share their feelings about what goes on in their relationships and lives… [they] enjoy helping through hardships, making long distance a bit easier to handle and sharing in your happy times you have with your cadet.”

This shit is amazing. I spent upwards of an hour reading this website and its guides to being the girlfriend of (most definitely male) cadets in their various years at West Point. It supplies very thorough advice for how to best support “your cadet,” including what to wear to the various W.P. events (“bring a wide variety of clothes. Most things are dress down. But you will want a promish, formal dress for the dance!”), where to get your hair done when you’re in town, and even how to send your letters to him: “Do Not do anything that would make him stick out (stickers, colored envelopes, flowery stamps). Stick to white paper & envelopes, black or blue ink and a flag stamp.” It also is fairly revelatory as to what goes down at W.P. For instance, did you know that all Cows (as third-years are called) receive a $30,000 loan right before spring break, to spend on whatever the hell they want? I sure didn’t!

Also, the girls all look exactly like the preppy white girls who made up the larger part of my all-girls Catholic high school. I half-expected to see one of my schoolmates on the site.

While reading this stuff, I actually experienced this strange, fleeting desire to be a male West Point cadet with a girlfriend who reads this site. Temporary insanity induced by overdoses of heteronormativity, patriotism, cutesy flowery background images and bad clip-art, I tell ya.

43 Responses to “You know it’s hard out here for a West Point girlfriend…”

  1. 1 belledame222


  2. 2 belledame222

    …I love the “jokes.” having deja vu flashes of the Milton Berle jokebook in my granny’s house, copyright ca 1960.

    >5) A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself, as a man and joined the army. “But, wait a minute,” said the listener, “She’ll have to dress with the boys and shower with them, too, won’t she?” “Sure,” replied the man. “Well, won’t they find out?” The man shrugged. “Who’s gonna tell?”

    >7) Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.

    8) We have women in the military, but they don’t put us in the front lines. They don’t know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, ‘You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.’

    har har har. boy howdy.

  3. 3 belledame222

    …that swim test shit is fucked up. I love swimming meself, but I know enough people who have serious water phobias that it’d be completely traumatic to make them go through that; and, anyway, wtf does that have to do with an academic degree??

  4. 4 Holly

    This post has been included in the 15th carnival of feminists, found here.

  5. 5 rabfish

    “While reading this stuff, I actually experienced this strange, fleeting desire to be a male West Point cadet with a girlfriend who reads this site.”


  6. 6 Ash

    You know its interesting! I’m an Art student In Brooklyn, I grew up in Japan and I’m Australian. I don’t consider myself preppy or radical I’m right in the middle but it makes me laugh to see your post and comments! I lived in Texas for a while and I will tell you something all the girls that look alike and sound alike are quite annoying, but they are nothing compared to left wing north eastern girls who claim to be “artists.” These preppy girls aren’t selfish they see a bigger picture. They are living in the real world not all shopping at vintage stores with shaggy razor cut hair eating at Paper mags top rated restaurants, and you never have to worry about them taking a shower!!!! They might be alike but what’s wrong with that? All the girls that I see in Williamsburg look alike and well quite honestly the preppy girls at least look healthy and attractive. What I think is really going on here is pure jealousy. Oh they all look like the girls that you went to Catholic HS with hmmmmm sounds like if you are identify them like that you need some therapy to get some of these issues off your chest. HAHAHAHAHAHA you will probably be the mother to force feed her children in to a vegetarian or vegan life style and the powers that be will spite you for he or she will go off to college and turn out as the most conservative right wing prep ever. Seriously what will these USMA girls go and do? Well they might become house wife’s and there is nothing wrong with that personally not my choice but I’m not going to bash them for it, but I know a few that are working for the pentagon and almost all are college graduates. But The big thing is that they are willing to stand by there man he isn’t going to be a wealthy guy and he is going off and doing something extremely dangerous something boys in Brooklyn esp your NYU, Pratt, Columbia student couldn’t conceive. Picking up a gun ohhhhhh noooo!!! “I don’t want to get any dirt on me Its too heavy!” “What’s Duty?” “All I care about is myself!! pass the pot” “Why don’t we go and write a post about women and fiancés that are standing by and supporting there men and bash it because we can” “No I don’t know anyone in the military but my uncle had a best friend who had a brother that was in Nam”.

    Please Give me a break!! Don’t go and bash these girls maybe they are empty headed maybe they are all alike but if they want to make a website for there men I don’t see how it hurts you. Well Hell Girls, they have more of a right to than you will ever have. The right that you have to say the rude totally uneducated words that you are using is because of the men that they are dating or are engaged too. I don’t see you doing anything for your country. But hey there are uneducated people all over this world and I have seen them Just think before you type. These girls meant nothing bad or negative out of what they were doing but you had to take it and spit on it. Just shows what type of a person you are.

    Just as I said before this all probably had to do with jealousy pretty simple to see. Sad thing is they have proven time and time again the popular kids in HS will most likely stay popular! You can stay in your world believing your ideas are the right ideas, but your not in reality!! Come join us stop being judgmental let go of your HS pain and grow up. It was not an actor or an artist or an activist that stopped The Nazis it was our boys in Uniform. They do not shout there political beliefs but they are putting their lives on the line. I don’t care if you hate politicians hell power too you for speaking out against politicians but don’t speak out against the military unless you have been in there shoes unless you have carried a gun unless you are waiting 12 months for your husband or boyfriend to come back home to you. AND DON’T YOU DARE INSULT THOSE WOMEN!!! These women are the strong ones these women are the ones that will create the future not you. They realized that life isn’t about living for yourself but its about your family and your future family they know how to sacrifice. Hun Its good they cant draft girls into the army because If women like yourself were going into the military god save us!! You must be the most annoying person in the world to go camping with!

    Cheers 😉

  7. 7 Ash

    Ohhh fyi the 30grand has to be paid back!!! And just think these students cant have a job there is no way of making money and they are working harder weeks than you will ever experience in your life they get the 30 grand for all 4 years, but they still have to pay it back! These aren’t rich kids so don’t assume they are its very silly and stupid to assume EDUCATE YOURSELF!! West point cadets are living a harder life than you can even imagine a person like yourself would drop out the first day but then again It is the hardest undergrad school in the country I don’t think a person like your self would even be able to have the talent and intelligence to get accepted after these comments that you make!! Tis Tis maybe you should go back to school hun!

  8. 8 amanda

    A $30K loan in one lump sum? That is definitely not meant to indebt you to the army for the rest of your natural life. Er, I mean, you’ll totally be able to pay that back on your military salary.

    and, Ash, if you don’t want to come off looking like an unhinged loon, you might try proofreading your comments before you add them.

  9. 9 ms. jared

    yeah, seriously. it’s hard to even follow what ash is saying with all the typos, spelling and punctuation errors. yeesh.

    xoxo, jared

  10. 10 belledame222

    O.K., this is an “Art student in Brooklyn” who’s bitching at all the hipsters she’s surrounded with? like you? am I reading this right? grew up in Japan…

    hey, Ash, is your pops in the military or summat? is that what this is about?

    jftr: wherever it is you’re studying Art*? you might want to pick up a comp class while you’re at it. you know, spelling, grammar.

    *a brave, strapping young lad who is more than willing to die on his spatula

  11. 11 kel

    I think you are stereotyping people that are doing no harm to anyone except making people like you more insecure and jealous, which is your own problem. I am a proud girlfriend of a usma cadet, and am in Army ROTC myself. I laugh at liberals like you who walk around with their noses up at “military people.” You would not have the right to write this bull if it weren’t for people like me and my boyfriend willing to do whatever our commanders tell us in order to protect the lives of americans. This girlfriend site is so helpful to us because we need something to keep us going when we are faced with not seeing or talking to the one we love for months at a time. It is the best sorority like situation possible- because everyone is welcome who shares this common bond of being a west point girlfriend. I am a girl and of course I want to be proper and not embarrass my bf when we go to an event and I am wearing something inappropriate for the occasion. It is a light hearted website, unlike your’s who attempts to pick apart innocent people. GET A LIFE.

  12. 12 Jack

    How exactly am I stereotyping anyone or picking anyone apart? I found the site by accident, read it, and was both amused and bemused by something that is worlds removed from my own life, yet also reflective of dominant culture. The closest I came to stereotyping was to say that the girls in the pictures looked just like many girls I went to high school with, which is true.

    It\’s funny how pissy people are getting over this particular entry, when I actually don\’t make a big deal over it and don\’t say much of anything critical about it. I mean, I think it\’s good that y\’all support each other and recognize that, yeah, you probably need the support. But that doesn\’t mean I can\’t express amusement at some of what\’s up there.

    Given that much of my family is made up of \”military people\” (your standard enlisted people, not West Point officers in training, I might add), I\’d caution against making assumptions about me having my nose up. Condemning the military and its actions is not about snobbery, it\’s about disagreeing with unwarranted violence, imperialism and oppression.

    And, as for me \”not having the right to write this bull\” if not for people like you and your boyfriend? Damn, I am SO TIRED of hearing this sad ass, propagandist, b.s. attack on progressives. Maybe if it wasn\’t for people like you – I\’m guessing you\’re a conservative from your comment about liberals – and your boyfriend, I wouldn\’t be barred from getting married and otherwise discriminated against because I\’m queer, my country of Puerto Rico wouldn\’t have been invaded and colonized by the US, and countless people wouldn\’t be killed as the innocent victims of american wars of aggression, amongst a litany of other things for which we can thank conservatives and the military. Think on that before you try to tell me how much I should be thanking you for my \”freedom,\” because, in case you didn\’t notice, a whole lot of american citizens ain\’t all that free.

    Also, as for your statement about being of girl and \”of course\” wanting to be proper and all – you know, not all girls care about that stuff, nor should they. So your \”of course\” is not actually so \”of course.\”

    I do have a life, just not one that\’s anything like yours, and for that, I\’m very, very glad.

  13. 13 abbey

    umm just to let you know i am a west point girlfriend and i am a member of that site and despite what you may think it IS really hard being a west point girlfriend. knowing that the love of my life is thousands of miles away and im not going to see him for another 60 or 80 try it. also the site actually really helps because not only can we talk about our feelings but also sometimes other guys write things in their letters that the other girls would want to know (when they would call for example). and by the way we are not all the same preppy white girls, theres plenty of african americans and just because were all white doesnt mean were all the same. your blog was really insulting and really showed your ignorance…you dont know how it feels to be a west point girlfriend..

  14. 14 Luth

    Don’t Assume… always seemed like good advice. Fer instance, I’m about 3 months from retiring from a military career. Been a liberal the whole time. Hasn’t been easy, especially when surrounded by people like Kel who just assume I’m a conservative. This military liberal likes guns AND our country AND people who have their own ideas, perspectives, approaches to what’s wrong with the world.
    I get the ABB’s point – there’s a lot of silly stuff to put up with in and around the military. I know, I’ve been there, though I freely admit to NOT being Westpoint material.
    I also get Ash and Kel’s point about these USMA girlfriends just supporting their boys. So what’s the harm in tossing the many sides of the issue about here on a blog? ABB was no meaner in her initial post than many of those kneejerk responses. Why can’t we all just get along? If we “fought” more on blogs or in real conversation, maybe we’d understand that we have more in common than we do in contrast, eh?

  15. 15 Mollie

    wow…i know this was written a long time ago but I just came across it and had to put in my 2 cents. I am a member of the group (it started as a yahoo support type group) and the website came later. It really breaks my heart to hear people talk bad about the site or the group. How is it hurting anyone? When I first joined the group my boyfriend was leaving for the West Point boot camp and neither him nor me knew what he was getting himself into. During that time he was not allowed to call anyone that summer…so of course I was terrified and worried and scared. Mind you most girls when their guys leave for west point are still in high school or just graduated high school. I was terrified mostly because I live in GA and he is in NY and I had no idea how I would ever get to see him or stay in touch. So one day I found the group site on yahoo and joined and it seriously changed my life. With the help of the older girlfriends on the site that had been though the same thing I was going through, I made my first trip on a plane out to see him by myself when the boot camp was over. I stayed with a girl from the site that was humble enough to offer her house to any girls that didn’t have the money (or resources) to get a hotel room. I was terrified! My first time flying and going out of state, by myself, to meet total strangers to stay with them. But all I wanted to do was see my boyfriend because of how much I love him and how much we are committed to each other. It has been 3 years now since I joined the site and I have spent time with the girls on there and made some really close friends and I think that there has been nothing but goodness to come out of the whole thing.

    I am not one to join a sorority or spend a ton of money on clothes and stupid material thing. I am an art student from Georgia that wants to support her boyfriend going to WP and the other girls that are going through the same thing that I am. I never would ahve imagined the site to make such an impact on my life as it did, and still does today. It has helped girls all across the US and the world to come together and get through the tough times that you go through when dating someone in the military and going to one of the toughest schools in the world at the same time, and on top of that only seeing them every few months.

    Anywho, thats my 2 cents I guess. I hope some will read what I’ve said and maybe have a better attitude about it. We’re not just some ditsy teenagers that love guys in BDUs…we are loving and supporting girlfriends and fiances of the men that will be leading as officers in the Army in a few years.

  16. 16 Kar

    what is up the the “USMA girfriend” T-shirts? The website is a bunch of girls with no lives who are obsessed with their cadet boyfriends. Most are probably planning to marry them (hence the wedding link). Since when do girls need a support group to deal with a long distance relationship? West Point is not that intense. It is just like any other college but with a lot of baseless rules. You girls need to get your own lives and be driven to be something other than a “west point cadet girlfriend.”

    Just wondering….how many of you girlfriends are actually planning to have a career in the future? I am not just talking about working as a secretary or at the local Wal-Mart, but an actual career so that you could possibly support yourselves. Most if not all cadet girlfriends I have met are not very smart and most are working towards their M.R.S. degrees…if you get my drift. They plan to follow their boyfriend from base to base and raise little army brats.

  17. 17 Colleen

    I just want to know how “easy” you guys all think it is to be in love with someone that is most certainly going to Iraq and possibly getting killed before I can live the life with him that I’ve chosen to. THAT is why we need a support group, not because we have a “long distance relationship.”

    Also, pretty much all of us are in college, college grads, or in grad or law school. We actually plan on having careers, unlike yourself. And we have no life? Who has a blog where they just bitch at stuff all day? At least on our blog (which you didnt see by the way) we help eachother prepare for a lifestyle where fear isn’t an option.

    I didn’t grow up in the military or anywhere near it, but at least I have respect for the people who, instead of pissing their lives away being an “artist,” HELP PEOPLE!!!

    I know none of this will make you feel differently because you can’t possibly understand living in your perfect little feminist hippie world.

    Yeah the war right now sucks, but that doesnt mean you should hate the military. There was a time when people who had spent years at war were respected and venerated. It makes me sick that because of people like you, its not like that anymore.

    Have a nice life

  18. 18 Ang

    Well, I can’t speak for the rest of the group, but I am a West Point GF, a member of the site, and I have a life of my own. My career plans in the future you ask? I”m currently working on my undergrad in Exercise Science. I am already a certified personal traininer, and starting my senior year of college I start working towards my doctrate in physical therapy. Does that meet your standards of a career that will support myself. I’m at college for more than a MRS degree as are all the girls that I have met on the site.
    No one dates a West Point Cadet to revieve their MRS degree. It doesn’t make sense. If I wasn’t planning on getting a degree of my own I wouldn’t waste my life thousands of miles away from my boyfriend in New York. Instead, I would pack up my stuff, work at the WalMart outside of West Point, and go about my business that way. So, I guess I’m just curious what “most and if not all cadet gf” you have met!
    AS for moving from Base to Base… well if you want to have a relationship in the millitary, thats just one of the things you have to do whether you enjoy it or not. But there are similar situations outside of the millitary that this could be compared to… such as ANY job getting relocated!

    AS for the website- it is a support group for girls in a specific type of long distance relationship. This group, as you can see from all the comments, is a group that is targeted often. This reaction from the rest of our peers is not something that is uncommon but it is something that as a group we pull together to support eachother from, not only for ourselves, but also our boyfriends.

  19. 19 Becky

    Just a thought… If you are “SO TIRED of hearing this sad ass, propagandist, b.s. attack on progressives” and are so concerned about the negative impact the American military, government, and nation has had on the world and your personal life, why do you continue your life as a citizen of this nation? No one is forcing you to be an American.
    I am dating a West Point cadet, and have had to stand by and watch the person I love prepare to fight and possibly die for this country. I find it remarkably insulting that you presume to sit, safely and comfortably, and list off only the negative things the military and government has done for this country, while my boyfriend is willing to die to provide you with that safety and comfort. If, as you say, you feel that you “ain’t all that free” then go find a country that can provide you with the “freedom” you seek.
    Compared with many places, the freedom to worship whatever God you choose, speak your mind, pursue an education, and live without the fear of disappearing overnight should you act suspiciously–I think those freedoms are not something to be taken lightly. This government has done many wonderful things for you, although, granted, many egocentric young people DO feel the need to complain regardless of their situation as a tired, generic symbol of their ability to think for themselves.

  20. 20 Becky

    You’re right, it’s impossible for a girl to be in love with a future officer AND pursue an education and career. I mean logically those two are complete opposites, right?
    That must explain why I, a USMA girlfriend, won a scholarship worth over a million dollars to one of the best unversities in the nation. And why I am an anthropology major–that’s only for, like, stupid people! That also must be why I was offered an internship, as a freshman, to a well-known newspaper. Only stupid MRS degree-seekers work as journalists, duh!
    As for the claim that West Point is not that intense… when was the last time you had to take survival swimming as a PE? The last time you were dropped into a pool with simulated waves and lightning wearing 50+ lbs of equipment?
    I guess it’s typical of an institution to expect its students to sleep less than five hours a night, take at least 6 classes a semester, plus fun little extras like survival swimming, plus attending boot camps, flight schools, and officer trainings during the summer. It must be totally normal for students to only get a total of six weeks a year off from school, right?
    You’re right, West Point is not that intense.

  21. 21 Tori

    i would just like to say that as a USMA girlfriend, i find some of the posts here EXTREMELY offensive. obviously many of the girls on the site are planning on marrying their booyfriends. people dont just sit through a long distance relationship with a West Point Cadet because theyre playing the feild or having a little fun. and yea, moving from base to base is part of a military life. but just because youre married to a military man does not mean that you yourself cannot have a college education, career and “life” like anyone else. yes, the girls on the site love their men very very much. thats a given. but to go as far as saying “obsessed”.. thats a little rediculous. we are just a group of women very much in love. apparantly something you have not felt before. every girl on that site is either in college, has finished college, or is planning on attending college in the future. i myself am planning to be a vet.. not really something for “stupid” or uneducated people. some want to be lawyers, graphic designers, doctors… in case you didnt know, they all require years of college education.
    we dont live life any differently than any other person who’s not dating a west point cadet. if anything, we live life better. we are strong confident mature women who have faith in our men and our relationships. we have friends, we go to school, we have jobs and we go out even though were not with our boys.
    its completely unfair for you to make rude comments like you have about the girls. the blog is one thing, you were stating something you found. but to some of the bloggers on here, you might want to get your facts straight and actually get to know some of the girlfriends before you say stupid shit like that.
    and saying the West Point isn’t intense? are you fricken serious?
    gimme a break.

  22. 22 maria

    when was the last time you had to ask your college if you could leave for the weekend? and then your school said hey this is one of your only chances to leave for the semester. or someone decide hey i want this done at 5:20 am so u wake at 5:00 to get ready even though u went to bed at 1 or 2 because of homework and won’t sleep again till the same time that night. so i guess west point is easy that must be why you go there!

  23. 23 BG

    Wow, so many rants responding to things you didn’t actually say…the amused tone of the post sure triggered a lot of insecurities! So random.

  24. 24 Haydee

    Hello all,

    First and Foremost… Unlike many long-distanced USMA girlfriends, I’m fortunate to live in New York City (1 hr drive from west point). I am a 22 year old Hispanic and recent college graduate (CLASS OF 06) with a double major in Corporate Communications and Sociology. I started my first internship while a freshman in college with AT&T. During my first semester of senior year I landed my first fulltime job as a recruiter for a top engineering firm in the U.S. I recently accepted a very attractive offer to work for Merrill Lynch’s HR dept in Wall Street. A year after my college graduation… I find my self accepting another offer… I plan on attending NYU (By the way my employer is paying 100% of my master’s) – for my Master’s in Human Resources class of 09) At which point my boyfriend will also be graduating from west point.

    A little background on my boyfriend… Unlike a typical WP cadet my 24 year old boyfriend joined the army immediately out of high school. He served 4 years in South Korea and received a nomination, recommendations from military personnel and full support from his directs to apply to West Point. He is going into his 3rd year and has a very busy summer coming up. A couple of months ago he was given a choice to intern for the summer (June 07) with the FBI or to participate in a program that takes a group of 10-12 Cadets to several Central European/ former Communist countries in order to ask the question: “How does this country develop its national security strategy” while simultaneously giving the participants great exposure to local customs, traditions & culture. The trip lasts approximately 2-2.5 weeks, after which the Cadets prepare their analysis papers for grade. At this very moment he is in Poland and will be also visiting Czech Republic and Slovakia. So if you have any doubts on how smart my boyfriend is and the type of individuals that attend West Point… Just ask yourself… if you can professionally and intellectually communicate and interact with U.S Ambassador and Top Military officials from various European countries. So this summer while he is in this program and completing other training requirements.. I am without a doubt missing him like crazy but at the same time I am working hard to make sure that when the time comes to start our lives together.. I will be professional prepared!!!!
    So as for Kar’s comment: “how many of you girlfriends are actually planning to have a career in the future” I HAVE ONE!.. So next time you open you mouth… Remember that your comments should not be misleading. Also, as for “following my boyfriend from base to base and raising little army brats” I Think I am a very marketable professional and will have no problem finding a job in any competitive market/state. With my master’s, professional and academic experience I plan on sticking side by side to the boyfriend who respects and values the Army Life… A boyfriend who dreams of one day applying his military background to his dream job….. A U.S Ambassador abroad!

    In 24 months I will have a total of 3 full time years of experience in a corporate setting, I will be finishing my Masters, my boyfriend will be graduating from USMA and we will be relocating to whatever base he needs to go to… I doubt that with my background I will find myself sitting on my ….for lack of better words.. Ass!

    I think I am very lucky and extremely proud to date a smart Hispanic cadet!

    I’ll keep you all posted!

  25. 25 Haydee

    Also did the USMA Girlfriends website go down?

  26. 26 Melissa

    My name is Melissa and I have been married to my husband who is a West Point grad for 2 years now. I met my husband at the beginning of his yuk year (which you should know means his second year.) I was never personally apart of USMA girlfriends but I have to say a support what they are attempting to do. I’m sure you are not aware of this but the military is strongly built on the idea of community. A community that is meant to bring families together and give people friends to lean on in a time of need. If you pay attention to deployments these men and women leave for 15 months at a time. This means that the wife and children are left alone to fight through life everyday without a husband or father. So they have FRG meetings, and Family team building to bring people together to support each other. Can you say that you have friends that would run you to the hospital when your water broke because your husband was halfway around the world in Iraq fighting a war?I can. Could you handle it if you had to help a friend up off the floor when a chaplain just told her that her husband wasn’t going to be coming home? I could. It is true that is takes a certain kind of women to walk by these men and USMA girlfriends is simply giving girls a head start on understanding what they are getting into. Support is one of the most important tools in the military without it everything will come crumbling down.
    As far as your comment about these women not working and just staying at home you are speaking out of pure ignorance. Currently I am working towards my nursing degree while my husband fights for our country. After I finish I will be a nurse and we will start a family. My children will go to daycare and I will continue to work. I was not the first women to have a family, a career and a husband in the military and I wont be that last.
    As for your 30k loan comment. Yes my husband accepted that loan and he invested most of it, bought my engagement ring and paid for our honeymoon. We also accepted a $500.00 monthly payment a month after he was commissioned (that means he became an officer.) You need to understand that while you went to college you were given the option of working and earning an income. My husband was not able to because of the structure of the school so the school offers him and his classmates a way to start their lives. Honestly, it is no different than the Army offering a 30k enlistment bonus.
    I think it is great that you believe in your right of freedom of speech but I want you to remember that freedom really isn’t free. It is those men and women that graduate from West Point and those men and women who enlist into the military that give you that right. Maybe you should think again who you bash when you are practicing that right. Also don’t use your right of speech to degrade those who are stronger than you…it only proves your weakness.

  27. 27 Courtney

    I am a part of this USMA girlfriends group, and I just want to say that you have the right to say what you wish, but you will never fully understand the purpose of this group until you have a boyfriend/fiancee/husband in the military or at USMA. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 4 years, and we both just finished our first year of college. He decided to go to a Military JuCo in order to prepare himself for WestPoint this past year. So far, I haven’t experienced West Point, but I know that I have a lot of questions about what things are going to be like for my boyfriend and for myself that I would rather have answered by the “preppy girls” who have had to experience it than by an outsider who has no idea. This group is not about what to wear, where to get your hair done for dances, or silly things like that… that’s just girl talk that happens to be amongst girls that have become close friends because of this group. All I know is that I would rather talk to other girls going through the same thing as me than to my friends who go to the same school as their boyfriends who will never understand.
    So before judging these girls, you might want to really look into it, or try dating a West Point cadet.
    Oh and p.s., I have two uncles that are in the military, and their wives are both intelligent, working women. I am working on my degree in Journalism and Mass Communications and a second major in History, and I have no plans on becoming “just a housewife”…which by the way entails a lot more than you think.

  28. 28 Samantha

    I just happened on this blog, and thought it would be nice to put in a perspective on USMA wives from a female Army officer.

    I hate to sound negative here, but I truly thought that about 90% of the USMA wives I met were some of the snottiest girls I’ve ever seen in my life. They mostly are sorority girls, and getting married to a West Point man is the ultimate success of their lives. I even had one tell me that point-blank, after about 4 glasses of wine loosened her tongue.

    One thing that surprised me about them was the way they seemed to form some sort of new adult sorority after getting the ring on their finger. And as we all know, sororities are very rarely nice.

    Their main focus in life seemed to be getting up around 9 AM (unless they had kids), doing their hair and make-up, walking/driving over to the AAFES shopping mall around 11 AM with 2-3 fellow USMA wives in tow, and then home by 5 PM to cook up a cute little dinner for their Army man.

    While the current Iraq war makes things a lot more difficult for them (and for all military wives), they’ve still got a damn good lifestyle deal. And if there is any USMA girlfriend reading this who resents hearing this – try being an enlisted wife, or a female enlisted soldier, and then come back and tell me what you think.

    I kind of view these girls as holdovers from the 1950s. If you think about it, the Army is one of the very few places left in America for a wife to actually get to play the perfect Donna Reed housewife, and get absolute institutional support for that role – so long as they play it right (no excessive whining, no excessive weight gain, etc.)

    Another thing that surprised me about them was their blatant racism. To be fair, not all are like that, but after 6 years of active duty time, I’m more than a little tired of the snotty attitudes I get, which I know are primarily based on race (no, I’m not white).

    I actually once got an apology from a USMA guy (who was married to one of the most racist chicks I have ever encountered – and of course who had never worked a day in her life) one evening during a field exercise, for something that his wife had said to me the previous month. His explanation was that she (as are many USMA wives) was from a small town in the South, and so she didn’t like interacting with people who weren’t white because her parents didn’t like those types.

    There were a couple of USMA wives that I’ve run into who were really nice, but that truly has been the exception, not the norm. My impression is that the nice ones are the ones who are a) minorities, b) came from poorer families, or c) just got the good genes. Back in the day, being an Army wife was a career, and being married to a USMA man meant that you were one-up on all other wives who weren’t. That snotty attitude persists quite strongly today, let me tell you.

    As far as jobs for these girls go – to be fair, it is hard for any Army wife to have a solid career, unless she is in the military herself. The frequent moves every 2-3 years make it really difficult.

    But anyway, on a final note – since I didn’t expect to blog this long – if you are going to be a USMA wife, here’s some advice: keep an eye on your man, and expect that there is a good chance he’ll be cheating on you. Infidelity rates are pretty high in the Army, but I’ve found that the worst offenders usually are USMA men – primarily because they didn’t get to act out a fraternity lifestyle while they were at West Point.

  29. 29 Care

    I am a 16 year old high school jr. My boyfriend (my best friend) just left a few weeks ago for cadet basic training. My boyfriends mom told me about the usma girlfriends website and i was overjoyed to find this community of people who went through this experience. All of their advice is so helpful and thoughtful. The girls who created that site that you are bashing are just trying to help others. These first 3 weeks of my bf being gone have been some of the most lonely and difficult times of my life. Finding people who know how im feeling is such a relief. ANYWAY… i found some of the things that you said about these amazing, strong, smart women and their WP cadets extremely offensive. To say that WP is not that intense…ya because having 90 seconds to say goodbye to all of your loved ones, 3 calls home all summer, and you know not to mention an 18 year old giving up 9 years of their lives to OUR country. My boyfriend and I were not raised in military families in my high school most kids end up partying at pitt or psu. My boyfriend had scholorship opportunities from numerous ivy league universities. He could have easily chosen an safe route to being successful and enjoying collage like most kids. But the man I LOVE chose to give up his opportunities for partying and a normal collage experience to serve OUR country. The United States of America is as strong and safe as it is today because of men and women who give up their freedom to fight for yours. If it weren’t for people like my bf think how your life could be different. Would you even be allowed to write this blog. I respect your opinion but in return i think you should show some respect of our men and women at usma and the people who support them.

  30. 30 Mandy

    As a USMA girlfriend, I am neither offended or encouraged, I am simply amused. I can understand someone, with little knowledge of the web site’s true intentions, ridiculing the site. It seems a bit absurd to be dealing out advice on where to get your hair done, how to properly address a letter, or how to be patient when waiting for the phone to ring. I can also understand how some of these girls would be offended. Personally, I am not a member of the group but I have seen the website and found some of it’s information helpful. For example, my boyfriend’s birthday happens to be the day after classes begin this year. Never a fun thing. However, with the help of the website, I was able to find a site that will deliver a fun birthday gift right to his door. Yes, it is a bit goofy but I know it will bring a smile to his face.
    I also find the comments about, shall we say, “talent”, amusing. West Point cadets go through many extremes. Not only are they required to be academically advanced but they are also required to train to become the best military officers they can possibly be. This requires strength and endurance of both the mind and body. Let’s put it this way, you do not see any comments from USMA cadets on this blog because they are simply too damn busy trying to study, train, and squeeze in any personal time if possible.
    Now as for their girlfriends; USMA girlfriends come in a range of varieties. Some are “preppy white girls”, some are “minorities” and some are just too in love with their man to care about petty titles. Most of these women, I do believe, however, deserve respect. It takes a lot of emotional strength to make any relationship work but I can honestly say, it takes much more to make a USMA relationship work. While trying to earn an education or land a job, because let’s face it, most of these women are trying to do so (even if some may eventually become “housewives”), they are also fighting to keep their relationships afloat. It is not easy to communicate long distance or to miss your significant other so much that it physically hurts or to even feel guilty for having such emotions because you know that your boyfriend is enduring much more difficult circumstances. These women are loyal and committed; qualities any man would want their woman to possess, military or not.
    Lastly, I am somewhat amazed at the lack of maturity that has gone in to composing the above comments. I understand how someone could be confused by such a website if they were unsure of it’s true intentions, which are both humble and modest, not, so to speak, to create an adult sorority of “snobbish” women. I can also understand the frustration of the women who are being criticized for being supportive of their men. Honestly, we all, myself included, need to take a step back and try to understand the other’s side of the story. Only then, should we make a comment while trying to avoid bitterness and hostility. It would be unfair to accuse a woman of being unintelligent for sticking by her man, a blogger of being a liberal fool or anybody of being jealous that someone is just in a better situation. Think before you type.

  31. 31 Grace

    Wow, this was written over a year ago but I thought I would add something.

    There are little bits of what everyone has said that make sense. Yes, I am also the girlfriend of a USMA cadet. Obviously it is very difficult but only slightly more than any other long distance relationship. It IS incredibly hard for them going to school there, but that has nothing to do with this blog.

    I am also a very liberal person but I still completely support my boyfriend’s views and what he is doing for the country. Even though I don’t agree with war, that doesn’t mean I think what he’s doing is wrong.

    The only thing that really bothered me is how much you all have been stereotyping West Point girlfriends. They are most certainly not all white, and definitley not all racist. I have met girls from every race. I am white myself, but my boyfriend is Korean, and many of the other girls are in interracial relationships too. And almost all of the girls I have met are planning on having a career, including myself. Just because your boyfriend is a cadet or in the army you do not have to put your life on hold.

  32. 32 Vanessa

    I know the first post was over a year ago, but like everyone else I had to add my two cents. I read a lot of posts from “USMA Girlfriends” (I’ll explain the quotes in a moment) and from girls who have not dated a cadet/midshipman from any of the Service Academies, but none from my point of view. A little background first. I met my husband while I was in graduate school in White Plains, NY. We were both attending a bible study group at West Point (a long story that I will not get into). I had the unique experience of interacting with the cadets, officers and officer’s wives during that time and I learned a lot about the cadet life, life as an Army wife and the life as a girlfriend of a cadet. I was a girlfriend of a West Point cadet (and now a wife of a West Point Grad), but please do NOT call me a “USMA girlfriend”.
    First. I agree with the “USMA girlfriends” that life dating an Academy cadet is not like dating any other college guy or like any other long distance relationship. The first two years at the Academy a cadet’s leave is restricted; you do not get to see them all that often. Even if he can take weekend leave, he cannot leave until after his Friday commitments (usually around 4 pm) and must be back by taps on Sunday (11 pm for 2nd and 1st classmen) so you may get lucky and see you boyfriend on 3 day weekends. That does not even begin to go into the fact that their Thanksgiving leave is from Thursday – Sunday, winter leave is 2 weeks, spring leave is 10 days and summer vacations are 30 days (maybe). You cannot hold their hands or show any other PDA and cannot share the same flat surface (ie you cannot sit next to him on a park bench) when the cadet is in uniform. You usually cannot go into the barracks and on the rare occasion that you can, the door must remain open and, again, you cannot share the same flat surface. The cadets have little down time and lights must be turned off by midnight. An Academy girlfriend must also be on her best behavior or the cadet may find himself walking hours for something SHE did! Most relationships do not have to deal with these and other quirky rules that USMA, USNA, USAFA, Merchant Marine Academy and Cost Guard Academy girlfriends have to deal with. This is just the beginning as life as an Army wife is not easy with the separations (my husband left for training in OK 4 days after we got back from the honeymoon and I am here in FL) and the knowledge that your husband may soon deploy to a hostile zone among other things.
    I also agree that it is not fair to judge all Academy girlfriends the same. I am not white and I have as MS in Microbiology. There are many others like me who do have a brain and do use them. I am independent yet kind and caring and many have told me that I am so. I am married to an Army officer, but I am a liberal. I support my husband 100%, but I do not agree with the war and have no problem telling anyone this.
    All that being said, during the time I spent at West Point and the time I dated my husband while he was at West Point (a total of 4 years), I ran into a number of members of the “USMA girlfriends” and I agree with Samantha above, MOST were just plain snotty. “USMA girlfriends” is not a “support group” for girls dealing with the stress of dating a USMA cadet; please. Dispite some of the useful tips the site does provide, sorry Mandy, but it is a sorority of girls who think they are the elite among all girlfriends because they date a USMA cadet (thus you are not a member because you seem like a normal person). A society whose identity is based on the guy you are dating; gag. Dating a cadet is not the ONLY requirement for being a member. I’d love to tell you what all the requirements are, but I and many others I know were turned down from the group. Now I have to admit, I only tried to apply because a bunch of my friends (female cadets) wanted to “infiltrate” the group and were unsuccessful because “USMA Girlfriends” found out they were all cadets. One of the female cadets was even dating another cadet so you would think that would qualify her. They figured I might have a chance because I was not a cadet; no luck. I digress, more about who the “USMA girlfriends” really are.
    During the many formal balls the Academy holds, “USMA girlfriends” can be spotted wearing designer dresses in small groups in the corner of the dance floor, in or just outside the ladies’ room. Easy drop on their conversations (hard not to as loud as they talk) and you’ll hear them talking about the poor cadet whose girlfriend clearly got her dress from Sears and how they need to hook him up with a more “classy” girl or the female cadet who must be a dyke because no NORMAL girl would want to go to West Point. They throw around terms like Firstie and Buckner as if they really know what it was like to be a Firstie or go through Buckner (do not ask me because I do not know). But alas, they are “USMA girlfriends” and thus are the most prestigious of all girlfriends.
    It continues, like Samantha pointed out, after they get married and I am sure she is not far off. I would disagree that the West Point graduates cheat more frequently then the normal population, though. The “USMA girlfriends” website, that looks like it is down now, talks only about the cool stuff that are a part of the cadet life. Nothing about having guard duty from 10 pm to 10 am and still being expected to go to class after you get off, a summer vacation that is only 30 days long, having to go to class sick, etc. And the $32K is paid back by automatic withdrawals of about $500 a month over the first 5 years as an officer.
    Yes, Academy girlfriends are of a variety like all other college girlfriends, but the “USMA girlfriends” of the website are what everyone says they are and when someone points them out, the bite back, thus the volley of insults thrown (not that two wrongs make a right). The original blogger was not to far off on her original thought about the “USMA girlfriends”, She just expanded her thought to include EVERYONE who dates and has dated a West Point cadet. If the “USMA girlfriends” do not include all West Point girlfriends it would not be fair to use them to describe all West Point girlfriends.

  33. 33 Jackie

    A few months ago, I started talking with a USMA cadet online. It was pretty harmless and since we met on Yahoo, I just didn’t think we’d ever meet. We live about 45 minutes from each other so it wasn’t a matter of distance, it’s just a matter of lifestyles.

    Well, after about a month of chatting online, he out of the blue asked if he could take me to dinner. I was a bit skeptical but I went out with him. He was the best company I’ve had in a long time despite the fact we’re polar opposites of each other. I’m a New Yorker born and bred, liberal, you know the rest. He’s from Virginia, a staunch republican, catholic. I’ve never been someone who let differences in opinion get in the way of a good friendship.

    We went out on a few dates, then he had to go home for the summer, leaving me in New York completely miserable because I missed his company so much. I was so sad that I didn’t get more time with him before the summer started. He was in Virginia, then Ft. Benning for Airborne School then Korea.

    I’ve never felt such intense, strong feelings for someone. You don’t have to have everything in common to form a connection.

    Now, we’re not dating and he’s kind of leaving me in limbo as far as what he’s feeling. He’s so incredibly busy with plebe training, classes, and whatever the hell else he does down there.

    I just felt like I needed to post something about this because I think that any young person that goes to West Point deserves the most utmost respect. They have chosen to forego all opportunities for partying like a “normal” college student and instead have essentially signed their lives away to their country. Although I’m disappointed in the situation I’m in, sad that I’m lonely because I can’t seem to get this guy off my mind I’m also willing to let him be because he made a commitment to the Army long before he met me and I can’t ask him to sign his life away to me too.

  34. 34 anonymous

    When I was in college, the love of my life, my first love, my, at the time, everything, was a Cadet at USMA. He was and probably still is an arrogant SOB, but getting on, I came across that site and attempted to join. The guy I was seeing and sort of engaged to at the time was giving me a hard time and I wanted to join for the camaraderie with girls in the same situation. They did not let me in the group because I refused to divulge my ex’s last name or contact information. I didn’t want anyone knowing who I was dating and I didn’t want him possibly being in a weird situation. I was pretty pissed and totally appalled that the group could have such policies when all I wanted was some people to talk to. The girls, at the time, were not very nice to me. I can remember getting some not very nice emails from them when I attempted to explain my situation. I joined another group for gf’s of cadets, attempted to start my own website, only to have my ex break up with me because I asked my friend who attended the academy whom my ex did not like, for my ex’s room phone number. He hadn’t given it to me yet (it was the start of a semester). Well, until about two years ago my ex and I went back and fourth with arguing and trying to work things out, with my pouring out my heart and him pouring out lies and bs, albeit in a weird way, before I decided to walk away from the situation. The girls do not need the website. Follow your heart and what your head tells you to do. I am NOT against the military, in fact, I am a huge supporter of it. I love what our soldiers have done for the country and I am proud to be an American. Just do not sugarcoat what dating a cadet is, that is all I am asking.

  35. 35 mmjd

    Damn, this made me mad. Who the hell gave you the right to insult these women? What the hell is their offense? Not being lesbian? Caring about something greater than themselves?

    You are the most intolerant person ive ever heard of!

    When a bunch of women write a website of common interest to themselves, you mock them for being “heteronormative,” just because, like 90% of us the happen to be heterosexual.

    When a young person volunteers to spend nine years of his/her life studying and serving in the military, you mock them for being “insane” due to high doses of “patriotism” and “heteronormativity” (there it is again)

    This is what psychologists call projection. You think that normal people are intolerant of you, when in fact, you are simply projecting your intolerance onto them.

    Shame on you. You want that 30,000 dollars? I’ll give it to you. All you have to do is spend nine long, hard years studying, excercising, getting yelled at, getting shot at, and getting made fun of by me for being “patriotic” and “heteronormative” while I sit on my fat ass and run my mouth. You wouldnt be able to do it.

  36. 36 Christine

    First thing I would like to clarify is: My boyfriend is a cadet at USMA.
    But the site is silly, I agree. My life-long, or even short-term, friends are not going to be with girls that are girlfriend’s of other cadets. That’s just silly. And no, there is no need for a “support group.” I made this decision because of my feelings for my boyfriend. We are both confident in each other, and reach out to one another (not strangers or members of a website) during tough times. We make it work on our own.
    But while you may assume that all of the site members are snotty and high class or whatever you’d like, do not make that assumption about every girlfriend of a cadet. I am not like that at all. I am one of the friendliest people you’ll ever meet. I NEVER spend money recklessly. I am actually attending college on full financial aid support (which means I will be paying it back after graduation) and intend to have a career in the FBI or DEA. And as for the loan they recieve their Cow year (3rd/Junior), my boyfriend plans to invest the entire loan. Which is smart. He is not going to spend it all, or buy a new car, or anything silly.
    I’m just asking you to not assume that all the girls are dumb, gold-digging, fake, and snotty. Its not fair to those of us out there who are anything but that (like me).

    And to whoever posted saying, “try being an enlisted wife, or a female enlisted soldier,” well — that’s not what I want to do. I, personally, do not want to serve in the Army. But I support those who do, its a tough life, and a huge committment, to say the least. But my boyfriend tells me all the time how much having me in his life helps him, every single day. And that’s what is important here. The impact we have on them. And to that same person, your comment on infidelity was just silly. There is no need to spark suspicion in anyone. I, for one, am confident in him as well as myself, and never even think about it. Its called trust. And its also called LOVE. Its silly for any girl to worry constantly about her boyfriend — that makes for a highly unhealthy relationship.

    That being said, its very late. Or, early, rather. And I apologize if my thoughts were scattered, but I just wanted to put it out there that I am a very loyal, loving, and FRIENDLY girlfriend who is driven, and who will be successful in life. Our plan is to live life averagely, and retire happily with enough saved up money to do so.

    Just please don’t cluster us together and judge all of us as a whole. Just remember there are some out there who don’t fit your mold, and be kind enough to not include us.

    P.S. I have noticed some girls who fit your assumptions completely, but that doesn’t justify your clumping!! =)

  37. 37 Christie

    I am also a proud member of the West Point Girlfriends Network and have just become the fiance of a West Point Cadet. Hard is an understatement, but we prove how strong we are and sacrifice more than most for the one we love. We are sure as hell not your typical girls and you’re right to be jealous…you’re right to wish you had a girl who is as amazing as any of the West Point Girlfriends.

    You think you know me, but you haven’t the slightest clue.

    I’m the blond standing behind you in line at the grocery store, eying
    the newest “Support Our Troops” magnet while paging through the latest
    issue of Modern Bride. The look on her face is complacent and her
    thoughts are thousands of miles away at an academy with endless rules
    and a rigorous schedule.

    I’m the young girl in the next car with the windows rolled up and the
    glassy visage only on the road ahead. You catch a glance at the Army
    Strong sticker on the bumper of her car but think nothing of it.

    I’m the young woman who will eventually plan an entire wedding on her
    own, with only the little input she can get from her husband-to-be
    over the phone.

    I’m the girl who visits the USMA Girlfriends website at odd hours of
    the night to find some kind of comfort for that lonesome feeling that
    has settled in the pit of her stomach.

    I’m the woman who has fought an inner battle, trying to accept the
    path the man she loves has chosen. I’m the woman who will willingly
    sacrifice her family, her home to follow a man clear across the
    country. I’m the woman who never asked for this but deals with it
    without complaint.

    I’m the young woman who swells with pride every time she sees her
    soldier standing tall in his ACU’s. I’m the one who spots an Army
    sticker, license plate, or flag and feels a connection with its owner,
    hoping that maybe she’s not alone in this melancholy, sacrificial

    I’m the one who hates war but knows that it’s a necessary thing. I’m
    the one who supports her President, regardless of her own opinion
    because he is the boss of the love of her life.

    I am the young woman who tries her hardest to go about her everyday
    life, but often find that everyday life just isn’t the same unless he
    is there.

    I am the young woman who tries to concentrate during her classes and
    do the job she gets paid to do. I am the young woman who hates
    sleeping alone. I am the young woman who closes her eyes and pretends
    that the man she loves is laying right there next to her, his arms
    wrapped around her. I am the young woman who tries not to miss him,
    who tries not to cry whenever she hears his name or even the mention
    of soldiers. I am the woman who is terrified that the love of her life
    will be sent off to war.

    I am the young woman who knows the toughest job in the corps, who
    knows too well the importance of a kiss, a hug, a smile. I know that
    these things in life must be savored, because nothing is promised.

    I am many things.

    A daughter.

    A sister.

    A cousin.

    A niece.

    A co-worker.

    A student.

    A friend.

    But most importantly, I am the girlfriend of a United States Soldier.

  38. 38 Christie

    A Girlfriend’s Story
    Modified by Angela Lamb
    Taken from an Anonymous poem entitled Marine Corps Fiancé Poem

  39. 39 Angie

    Yes…I am part of the USMAwpgfs group. I will not sit here and attack you. I know I’m not going to change your mind either, but I want you to consider the other side. First I want to address the person who started this blog. Our group is like any other group. People join groups because they share common interests, or need help with something. That is what our group is for…to share experiences and advice.

    Regarding the cow loan you wrote about: I think that much money should be given out to them to spend as they so please. Why? because u can’t put a price on risking your life to protect your country and on leaving your family for months at a time. As cadets though…this money is typically used to help the cadets get on their feet after they are commissioned. Most of them invest the money accordingly. That’s all I have to say to you. You can express yourself freely as can I. Oh, another thing….I am mixed and have no white in me. I am protestant, and attended a public high school. We have too many members and can’t possibly display everyone’s pictures up…but we are all different and have different political views as well.

    Now this is for Kar who does not think West Point is all that tough. Let me just make a quick reference to your t-shirt comment. We wanted something to represent our group…kinda like when NBA or NFL teams wear a team uniform. Yeah…like that. Not because we are “obsessed” with our boyfriends, but because we are proud to be a part of the few girls who support and wait for their cadets through their WP career.

    Put yourself in a cadets’ shoes and tell me this isn’t all that tough: Everything u do is in this massive schedule that u have to follow or you can be punished if u decide not to, you want to go out on the weekend or anywhere else for that matter…u have to ask ur college, You have loads of HW every night (and of course its a larger and more difficult load than the HW you would otherwise get in a civilian college; because most of the kids up there were in the top of their class in high school so you have to compete for grades) and you only have till someone comes in your room and tells you lights need to be out. You have to worry about leading young men and women when u graduate and bringing them back home safe and sound. Point is..I can go on for ever on this, just some food for thought.

    It seems like you assumed most of us had no aspirations in life and wanted to live off our husbands. Well just FYI the ladies on this group are the most goal-orientated group of young girls I’ve ever met. Most of them are in college pursuing a respectful career, and the ones who aren’t are graduating High School just now. Also, I don’t believe you need to go to college to be a respectable person (not that you said that or anything). Stay at home moms are incredible people who devote their lives to taking care of their children, husbands and homes. Not that you care…but I am a biology major and I’m minoring in medicine in hopes of going into the medical field. I will agree with you on the fact that I will have to follow my husband around, but I’ll always be proud to do that…because I’ll support his career and always stand by him.

  40. 40 MEP

    I’m a “USMA Girlfriend” and I really don’t think that I fit into any of the above “stereotypes”. I was not really offended or irked by the original blog, but some of the responses didn’t really sit right with me.

    As far as the site goes…I joined, completely oblivious to many of the remarks thrown out above, when my fiance’s mother sent me the link. I thought the site had some helpful information and I figured I would join to see what some of these girls had to say. So I joined. In doing so I have gotten some really helpful information. My fiance would always wait until the week before to tell me when formals were. All I had to do was simply ask some of the other girls when they were so that I had time to get a plane ticket at a reasonable cost. I also inquired about the full details of events for certain weekends, how the weather is in NY during the events, etc.

    That being said, I have NEVER once met another USMA GF at any West Point event. Never spent the weekend together, never gossipped at a table with them. I have found some of these snotty girls on the site that I do not necessarily care for, but its about the same ratio as you would find in any situation. There will always be the snotty ones, and there will the nice humble ones.

    Moving on…as far as my intelligence level/career path goes…I have a BS in Biology and and working on my Master’s in Medical Science. Interpret that as you want.

    Anyways, I don’t appreciate being lumped in with what is now being stereotyped as “USMA Girlfriends”…the kind with quotations, not just the kind dating cadets.

  41. 41 Lydia

    Hey all –
    I’m going to be a freshman attending Carnegie Mellon next year, I hope to end up in the field of either animatronics or prosthetics after I graduate, and I am a girlfriend of a boy who will become a West Point Cadet come the fall. I’m not dating him for his West Point appointment – in fact, when we started dating, he was pretty sure he was going to Notre Dame (to which he was accepted on a full scholarship). When I tell people that I’m a ‘proud girlfriend of a West Point Cadet’, it’s different than someone claiming to be a ‘proud West Point Girlfriend’. Personally, I’m supportive of my boyfriend/best friend’s choice to take on the rigors of West Point, but his accomplishments do not in any way define mine, and my relationship with him does not define who I am as a person. I love the boy, not the uniform or profession. As long as he keeps making me those strawberry-peach pies of his, I don’t care what his job is. The ARMY, and especially West Point, is just pretty prestigious, that’s all. I’m not ‘obsessed’ with my West Point Cadet – I just love my boyfriend. From what I hear, that’s pretty normal, right?

    I’m sure I’ll be the girl gossiped about at the WP dances, wearing the SEARS dress and hanging out with the female cadets. Oh well. Instead of buying a $300 dress for every dance at West Point, maybe I’ll spend the money on airfare so I can see him more often. Like his birthday. Or our anniversary. Or when he just needs a break from being a plebe.

  42. 42 Andrew

    Okay, I’m a USMA Cadet (class of 2010), and just wanted to share a few reactions.

    -I think that the blogger (yeah, the butch one) has got a chip on her shoulder and is rather annoying. I disagree with most of what she says.

    -That being said, there isn’t much in this world that I hate more than the USMA girlfriends’ website. It is a bunch of stuck up, melodramatic prisses that live vicariously through their BFs. It’s not only kind of creepy, it’s also sad and obnoxious as hell.

    -You don’t need a support group to date a West Pointer. Give me a flipping break. It really ain’t that bad. The melodrama really drives me up the wall.

    -To Samantha, the female Army officer: While I do know some snooty girls that date my peers, the wives (i.e. the women that most West Point guys settle down with for good), in my experience, are not of the snooty variety and tend to be very down to earth. My dad’s a grad, so ever since I was young I’ve known my dad’s classmates families.

    -To Christine and that disgustingly melodramatic drivel a few posts up, just stop–please. If being with your West Pointer is such a heavy cross to bear, break it off. Otherwise, nobody wants to hear you wax poetic in such a nauseating fashion about the unbearable hell of dating one of us and the awesome sacrifices on your part.


  1. 1 AngryBrownButch » Blog Archive » Another reason to scrape that blue equal sign sticker off your bumper
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