Comments on: Why this queer isn’t celebrating

By: Shev

Shev — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 17:14:52 +0000

Oh my dog yes. Obviously it’s a good thing that gay and straight people have equal rights. But what if those equal rights - well, just aren’t that equal? I kinda feel guilty questioning whether it’s ‘right’ to want civil partnerships (after the looooong time it took to get to this point), but what’s with all these virginity-affirming white dresses, and blood-diamond rings, and getting your friends to spendspendspend (in gaystream-approved shops, obv - no second hand, knit-your-own here please) on your state-sanctioned slice of monogamy, which is based, lest we forget, on a system of *ownership* of women?

So many free gay zines are filled with ads for CP stuff, and I just wonder whether it is actually fighting for the chance to fight our way up the pyramid of privilege, without actually looking at what we want - which is presumably a non-racist, non-sexist, non-homophobic society. At least that’s what I thought. It’s like gay tories/republicans - sure, we have the right to be total arseholes, but really, why do you want to do that to all of us? Surely the most important issue to us should be the huge number who are getting killed and persecuted, locally and globally, because of who we are, who we shag, and how we shag, rather than wanting the tax breaks that the government uses as bribes to conform?

And frankly, I’d just got my mum OFF my back about the marriage thing (”Sorry mum, just can’t do it….”).

By: Family Equality Council Blog » The Privilege of “Normal-ish” Gays and Lesbians

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 23:02:26 +0000

[...] regarding the implications that the marriage equality movement has for non-traditional families.In this essay, Angry Brown Butch describes feeling unsettled upon reading a newspaper article about the recent [...]

By: Family Equality Council Blog » The Privilege of “Normal-ish” Gays and Lesbians

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 22:12:32 +0000

[...] this essay, Angry Brown Butch describes feeling unsettled upon reading a newspaper article about the recent [...]

By: Jack

Jack — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:31:57 +0000

Heh, yeah, you did. I think my brain just replaced the “say” with “save” of its own accord.

By: Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 07:48:55 +0000

Thanks, Jack — only I’m embarrassed by my voice activation software typo at the end where I meant “save ya.” But it looks like I got the point across

By: Jack

Jack — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 13:13:40 +0000

@GallingGala - please don’t apologize for what you wrote. Rather, I thank you for what you wrote. So damn true.

@Mattilda -

If Christian fundamentalists think that all queers are gonna burn in hell, somehow I think a platinum wedding band from Tiffany and a “proper” gazillion-dollar outfit just isn’t gonna say ya…

Word!

By: Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 06:40:22 +0000

Thanks for this great analysis!

I would also add that all of this hysteria around what the Christian fundamentalists (defined by gay marriage proponents as “middle America”) will think about gender/sexual/social representations is, well — hysteria. If Christian fundamentalists think that all queers are gonna burn in hell, somehow I think a platinum wedding band from Tiffany and a “proper” gazillion-dollar outfit just isn’t gonna say ya…

Love –
mattilda

By: GallingGalla

GallingGalla — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 02:25:54 +0000

Haven’t had time to read the entire comment thread, so I might be repeating something someone else said. But, thank, *thank*, THANK you, Jack, for saying this, it brings tears to my eyes, b/c I have felt so long that it seems like the white upper-class assimilationist gay/lesbian community has been driving this as the most freakin’ important issue, thus leaving behind 90% or more of the queer community, and also, as you mentioned, many, many groups of people who are non-queer but still ouside the heteronormative ideal (polyamorous, siblings, elderly folks caring for each other, etc).

I am getting so *sick* of the mainstream LG press pounding this issue over and over, while ignoring or paying lip service to the issues of the *vast* majority of trans people. The ENDA fight drove home for me that mainstream LG orgs don’t give a fuck about most queer people. I am getting *sick* of being afraid to discuss the fact that SSM doesn’t help me, a trans woman, get medical treatment, or keep a job or a roof over my head, for fear that a gazillion people, especially well-off white gay men and not a few straight allies, are going to pile on me for daring to state that lots of people would like to just be able to *survive* and keep their jobs and not be murdered, and how dare I stand in the way of their glorious marriages, and their right to suck up to heteronormative (and racist and classist, dare I say) power structures?

Sorry for the long rant, but I’m just really angry about this.

(I left a very similar comment also at Feministe).

By: Bq

Bq — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 01:40:36 +0000

(as in, they all looked the same - very conformist)

By: Bq

Bq — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 21:36:22 +0000

i knew all the pics in the newspaper were a bit strange to my eye…